I picked out his birthday, and he agreed. The "day" was scheduled one week before he was supposed to arrive. I woke that morning with pain. At the hospital, with monitors beeping, the nurse told me, "it appears your in labor. Guess this was the right day afterall". I couldn't wait, the excitement was intense. When it was time to go to meet him my heart was bounding. I remember dreaming of him when I was younger. I knew he would come someday, when he was ready. I imagined he watched, looking from above seeing his family grow. He wanted to come but it had to be at the right time. Someone did come, but whoever it was got cold feet and went back. I was so sad, I thought it was him. Now I thought he would never be, it was just not part of the grand plan, he knew better. He did finally make his way through the clouds. There I was about to meet the boy I longed for and thought about for years. Did he know how much he was loved already? Did we prearrange the meeting before? All I knew was I had to hold him and soon.
I heard his voice for the first time. I wanted to say hello but I was speechless. His father was with him while I lay there looking from afar. I had to wait until I was closed up and my legs were a part of me again. As the two men in my life left the room my heart was filled with joy. As I waited I stared at my feet begging then to move, willing with determination to get them to wiggle. I could not go see him until my legs moved and the drugs inside of me faded away. Finally movement! Slight at first but very quickly my legs were ready to run. "Okay, I'm ready to go up now." I whispered to myself, "oh please take me up now."
The hallways seemed to be a bit longer than I thought. "Are we taking the long way?" I questioned. I swear time was standing still! We arrive at our destination. Still I had to wait, things needed to be done. The tears of joy in his fathers eyes as he entered the room told me what awaited me. No words had to be spoken. Then I heard the rumbling sound of the bassinet making its way down the hallway, getting louder and louder, then it slowed. I saw the shadow enter the doorway right as the nurse turned in. The rush of blood through my body was so warm I could feel my face turn red. I sat up straight, straining to see into the bassinet, I couldn't wait another second till he reached the bedside. I leaned over and looked in. I lost my breath! He was perfect, just as I saw him in my dreams. Gently he was handed to me, I touched his face, my vision was blurred from the tears. I smiled and somehow remembered, we were together again after all this time. We named him Matthew, only later learning the meaning of his name.... "a gift from God." And he truly is.
